Ready to make a decision? I think not.

Well, today is Tuesday. Another weekend has come and gone too quickly. I only cant believe that I will be here for only 2 more weeks. QUE TRISTE! How sad! Over the weekend, the missionary family in Chapala took me to a place called Tonala. Can I just say, I LOVE shopping! There is nothing better. Rows and rows of market and shops. After church, we ate KFC, went shopping in Tonala, and then had a lovely visit to starbucks. Monday, we had a meeting for those who want to be involved in the children’s program on Saturdays, playing awana games with the children and teaching them Bible. Everyone was supposed to make a decision if they would be helping every week or not. Pastor Pelayo, Cesar and Vick were all saying that I would be there every week and that I would be back soon. They couldn’t believe that I was leaving. On little papers, we had to write if we would be part of the weekly help (of club ancla) or just help when we could. On my paper, I wrote, if I am in Guadalajara, I will help. This obviously was not what they wanted to hear and kept trying to change what I wrote on my paper. I think it is awesome that two churches, from Chapala and Guadalajara, that are so different can work together for a purpose. In one church, the women only wear skirts and dresses, they listen only to conservative music…Those in Chapala are exactly the opposite, yet both can work together to do something like helping the children of other villages. I find this incredible. I am so thankful that I have had the opportunity to get to know all these people. I feel comfortable with all of them and love them all. I also had a great day with Keren, tickling her all the day long and soaking up her attention, especially since I haven’t spent much time with her.
On to today, I am back at my old house again for another few days, so up bright and early I was, ready to catch the bus. My only surprise, someone from Lincoln staff was on the same bus I was! How funny! I didn’t even know that anyone else took the bus to school, much less, the same bus as me! Today, we finally had our Egyptian museum for my class. They were so excited, that during Spanish class, they kept asking the Spanish teacher if they could start with the museum. Then they kept asking me when we were having the museum. My students had a ball dressing up as people from Egypt. There was a large pyramid covering my desk this morning when I walked it. It was part of our wonderful Egyptian display. They students had fun and did a great job. It was neat to see them share with others exactly what they had learned and there were so excited! We had all kinds of people come through our museum, including the coordinator for elementary and about 5 other classes. The principal even wanted to come through, but he was just a few minutes too late. The other 5th grade class did not come prepared, so they will be presenting on Thursday. Hoping that they come prepared! It’s been quite a great day and ready for tomorrow. We will have our sports Olympics day tomorrow!
Also, sidenote-my principal stopped me today and told me that he wants for his teachers to be involved with their churches, his exact words were, “I just don’t want you starting a church your first year!” He encouraged me in still pursuing ministry, but knowing my boundaries. He told me that he trusted me to find that balance once I started teaching, and that is what I had really wanted to hear from him. So, I am 99% sure I will probably end up at Lincoln, but still unsure (mainly because I’m scared of making adult, 2 year, difficult, stressful decisions!). Pray that I will just have the Lord’s peace when making a decision. I have only another week and a half to decide, and I really need the Lord to show me exactly where He wants me.

So Little Time

Sometimes the weeks seem to go by so slowly, but as I looked at the calendar today, I realized we only had 2 more weeks left to teach! WHAAAAAAT? Yeah. It’s been good though. Still waiting for God’s guidance, but enjoying my time here, just the same. Last night we had our first “Parent school” night since I have been here. It was quite the long day. I taught Math and two periods of history. Went to the Brien’s house for lunch and got to know them a lot better, which was absolutely incredible! I found out we have the same heart-orphanages and ministry. I love it. Then off to “Parent School.” I felt very encouraged though because of one of my students and her mom. I had just assigned a big project for my students. They are to create an Egyptian museum, which I am very excited about. The mom of my student, Karen, said that the whole way home, the whole afternoon, and the whole way to the meeting, all Karen could talk about was pyramids and mummies. She complimented my teaching and said I was a good teacher. After last week, I felt like this was such a huge encouragement. Nonetheless, it was a long night, especially if you haven’t looked at your lesson plans and it’s 11 at night. Let’s just say that there was lots of coffee flowing in the classroom today! It’s a beautiful thing in life, a beautiful thing…So today I taught math. Thought it seemed rather uneventful, I had a lovely classroom management moment today, at least I thought so. We were going to do some fun pair work stuff, but as I chose partners, my students began to shake their heads and moan. Just yesterday, Kelli had talked to them about that. After two students in a row did it, I just said, “You know what? Forget it, take out a book and read.” There was complete and utter silence for the next ten minutes until I was the one who began talking to them and asking questions about what they were reading. Total silence! Later, I finally let them do their pair work and let’s just say that this time, they didn’t moan and groan. Becoming a teacher, I think I am!
March 12, 2010

Waiting eagerly

It’s a new day and I am ready for a new start, a start that includes starbucks! =) hehe. One of the traditions of Wednesdays is that my teacher, Kelli and I, go to starbucks. It’s a beautiful and wonderful thing to have starbucks just right down the road. I do not have to teach classes until 10:20, so it’s a wonderful thing and I feel so blessed to have that time with Kelli and to prepare. I was able to pick her brain a little bit today about what my meeting was about yesterday. I definitely felt like she clarified things a little more, but she encouraged me to talk to the principal some more and talk things over. I hope to do that soon. I am still thinking and mulling over things for next year. Will I be back at Lincoln? Where else will I apply? Where would I want to teach? If not Guadalajara, then where? Second grade? How do I feel about second grade? Will I like it? What if it’s not what I expected? So many questions, still no answers. There is a verse in Psalm that I was reading last night where David says, “In the morning, O Lord, You will hear my voice; In the morning I will order my prayer to you and eagerly watch”-Psalm 5:3. I have prayed and prayed, now I am eagerly watching, watching to see what He will do. I have hope and know that He will answer my prayer. He will give the answer I need. I know He will. Waiting eagerly…
March 10, 2010

My life thrown into chaos.

If you have ever had a day that was just complete chaos and completely draining emotionally and physically, congratulations. You know what I am going through. Whenever you have a crazy, exhausting day, it usually starts at the very beginning of your day, as did mine. I went through my usual routine of getting up and getting ready. By 7:00, I was standing at the door, ready to go. Victor said his usual, “Lista?” My response was the usual, “Whenever you are!” Then something unusual happened as I climbed into the car…it cut off. Victor tried it again. Nothing. It was not the battery; it was not the transmission…we had no gas. Yes, you all know that feeling when you need to be somewhere and you realize you have no gas. We also had no money. We went back into the house, got some change and hopped on a bus. With only 45 minutes to get to the school, we decided to find and atm and hail a taxi as soon as possible. That’s what we did. With 10 minutes before class started, I arrived at the school. It was especially crucial that I be at the school, not because I was supposed to teach first period, but because we were supposed to have a game with 4th grade during that first period, and you can take a guess as to who, exactly, was in charge of this game…that would be me. I arrived at the school and the first person I saw was Jed, the teacher for 4th grade. Hallelujah! I approached him quickly before entering my own classroom, when he told me that he had forgotten his class would be going on a field trip that day, meaning I would have to teach my math lesson (prepared for later in the day) first period (IN TEN MINUTES!). I’m sure I was running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off, for sure. Let’s just say it was not my most impressive lesson, but I survived. I then had my double history class time, then it was time for my meeting. This was no ordinary meeting, mind you. This was a meeting between myself, my principal, the recruiter, and the person who assists the principal. I had set up this meeting to clarify information concerning my living arrangements, and why I am living where I am. These were things that needed to be explained. As I explained these things, they were all very gracious and understood everything I said. They then proceeded to tell me that they had accepted my application to teach at Lincoln, but that I would not be able to do any kind of ministry outside of Lincoln. For those of you who know me, you can understand why this was so difficult. Every church I have been in, I have been deeply involved. I am not one of those people who can go to church, listen to the sermon, and take a hike. That’s just not ME. That’s not how I function or grow. All day today, I have been struggling back and forth with a decision. I have told them that I will decide before spring break, which is March 27th. I am not sure where God wants me right now. If I cannot do any kind of ministry, then I do not believe that it is God’s will for me to be at Lincoln. I do not believe I can function that way. I eventually gave up on the worrying though and decided to sleep it off, then grade papers. Have you ever had times when you just needed a little bit of encouragement and you didn’t even realize it? As I was grading papers, I came across a worksheet I had given my students (a fun one of course!) in which they had to finish the sentence about a funny picture shown. At the bottom of the page, it said, “Notes for teachers.” I hadn’t even looked at this because I definitely did not expect my students to put anything there. On one, Fran had written, “Do this again!” because she had enjoyed the worksheet. Imagine that! Students actually enjoy some worksheets! Shocking! Another of my students had written, “You are a good and fun teacher. =) -Abi” If you have kept up with my blog at all, you will remember that more than one of my students had complained to their parents (who had then complained to Kelli) that they were bored in class. Since then, I have determined to do everything in my power to make life more interesting and keep those students occupied, but this little note of encouragement brightened my day and will definitely keep me going for a good long while. Teachers need encouragement too. So, here I am waiting for answers from the Lord, but encouraged by just a few kind words…
March 9, 2010

Slow Motion

Now that my 3 weeks of full-time teaching are over, everything seems to be going in slow motion…well, at least. slowER. What a peacefull weekend I had in Chapala. I did…NOTHING. Ok ok, so I did do some lesson planning, but I slept better than I have my entire time here. Saturday night some of the girls were in the kitchen cleaning up dinner. I curled up on the couch and they asked me, “are you going to sleep?” I responded with a “no, I’m just resting my eyes.” For those of you who have said this before, you know what that phrase REALLY means. I was sleeping like a long in only a few short minutes. Maybe I should always sleep on the couch! Hehe. Today, I taught only one period of math. Once math was over at 9:25 this morning, there was nothing left to be done, but prepare for the rest of the week. Believe it or not, I got all my copies made and resources needed for the entire week! I told kelli she should be proud of me. First time that has ever happened.
March 8, 2010

Written in words inexpressible...

I don’t know if any of you have ever had a hard time expressing yourselves, but I have recently found a new cd that expresses all my thoughts and feelings perfectly right now. The songs recorded seem like they came straight from my heart, even thought I know someone else wrote them. “Who is it?” you wonder…Fracesca Battistelli, singing songs like “Letting go and Keep me guessing” reminding me that though I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future, it’s ok because God is control. “Lead me to the cross” reminding me that whatever happens, stay focused on the cross, that is the true focus. “My paper heart” is in the Lord’s hands even though it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long and “Someday,” I’ll be free to give my heart away, when God’s timing is right, but until then and forever, HE is my “forever love” and I’ll always sing and live for Him. It’s His love and grace that have made my life “Beautiful, beautiful.” So yes, if you want a little deeper insight to my life, take a listen.

It’s Friday! Week 3 of full time teaching OVER…don’t get me wrong, I’m lovin teaching, but definitely ready for a little break. I’m reminded of what my best friend just said today, “And you want to do this the REST OF YOUR LIFE?” Why yes, I do…this just isn’t how I pictured it. Life isn’t exactly going how I had it planned, if you haven’t noticed. I think God enjoys the twists and turns in life. He is unpredictable. Therefore, so is life. I’ve loved teaching here, I love my class, my family/families, my teacher, my professors…I’m just ready for a “job well done, my good and faithful servant.” Not saying I want to die, I just cant wait to hear the Lord say those words. I feel weary right now and my brain is going to explode. I’m hoping that when I get to heaven God will look at me and say, “Good job, my precious daughter. You accomplished what I wanted you to with what I gave you.” I sincerely hope I don’t hear, “Good job daughter, but you could have definitely done better in this area and this…and this…and this…” I want to do everything to the best of my ability and for His glory so that I can please Him and “make Him proud.”
March 5, 2010

“And they shall know…”

It’s week 3 day 3 of full time teaching. 2 more days to go, then slow-down time. How exciting! I feel like those first 2 weeks of full time teaching was so…”go go go go go” and hectic. Week 3 is more like, “relax, enjoy the scenery, have some fun.” Really, for the first time with my students, I was really silly. They are finally a little more under control and I can be a little crazy. We read about David and Goliath today-yes, a story we all know, but I think we had fun. I got to act like I was puney little david and one of my students had to use his manly voice to be goliath. In reading, my silliness continued for a few minutes. I had Karen, one of my quieter, more well-behaved students, uncontrollably laughing. It was great to see. I finally felt a little more like myself, I was having a little more fun and not caring too much what they thought about my silliness. I think/hope they loved it. Though I know I still have a long way to go, I love to look back and see the progress I’ve made. Math was not so great today, but when I look back on how I felt at the beginning about teaching math, I realize how confident I have become and I feel like I could definitely teach any math to elementary. I feel more confident in my classroom management skills- thanks to Kelli. Life has been pretty easy this week. My student who used to roll her eyes at me all the time, now listens to what I say and I haven’t seen any eyes rolling around lately. Occasionally, she even smiles at me =) Student teaching is no longer so stressful and difficult. I feel like I could be a teacher now. I actually cant WAIT to have my own class, do certain things my own way, make my stamp. I look forward to teaching instead of dreading that math lesson because I know that a student might have to comfort me because I did so badly. Never will that happen again. I think I have the confidence, and the help and support to make it. If I may, I am going to change a little bit of what David said to Goliath. Facing my own battle, I say, “I come not to teach with unbeatable lesson plans, snazzy computers, abundant resources, and impressive skills, but with the help of the Lord God. Because of what He will do through me, my students will see and know that He is the Lord.”
3/3/10

Starting Fresh

It’s a new day, a new week. Victor has gone to Quawila to get his mom and I get the joy and privilege of staying with his brother, Pastor Pelayo and his family once again! I have missed them terribly and it has been great to be with them once again. When I saw Keren (my little Spanish tutor/buddy), they were running out the door and she basically asked me when I was here. She had to leave before I could answer, but I was sad I didn’t get to talk to her at all. She is not really huggy toward me or anything, but I could tell that she had missed me when a boy who was staying here asked why I was here. Sonya said, that I was a visitor and friend. Keren corrected her and said something to the effect, “She’s MY friend!” (very defensively of course). Of course, I loved it. It’s good to spend time with them again.
At school today, I was still very sick, stomach-wise. It was alright though since I had a really easy day at school. It was really nice (and convenient!). After school, I need to buy Hershey bars for math lesson, so Lauren and I went on the bus and went to the plaza. While we were there, we got a little…distracted. It just so happened that we passed and entered a nail salon, which also happened to be next to a fabric store. Likely story, I know, but some things just cant be helped. We had to stop and stop, we did. Best part of the day-my teacher said that she could tell that my confidence has upped and that she could tell I’m working on it! I want to be the best that God has made me to be.
3/1/10

Starting Fresh

It’s a new day, a new week. Victor has gone to Quawila to get his mom and I get the joy and privilege of staying with his brother, Pastor Pelayo and his family once again! I have missed them terribly and it has been great to be with them once again. When I saw Keren (my little Spanish tutor/buddy), they were running out the door and she basically asked me when I was here. She had to leave before I could answer, but I was sad I didn’t get to talk to her at all. She is not really huggy toward me or anything, but I could tell that she had missed me when a boy who was staying here asked why I was here. Sonya said, that I was a visitor and friend. Keren corrected her and said something to the effect, “She’s MY friend!” (very defensively of course). Of course, I loved it. It’s good to spend time with them again.
At school today, I was still very sick, stomach-wise. It was alright though since I had a really easy day at school. It was really nice (and convenient!). After school, I need to buy Hershey bars for math lesson, so Lauren and I went on the bus and went to the plaza. While we were there, we got a little…distracted. It just so happened that we passed and entered a nail salon, which also happened to be next to a fabric store. Likely story, I know, but some things just cant be helped. We had to stop and stop, we did. Best part of the day-my teacher said that she could tell that my confidence has upped and that she could tell I’m working on it! I want to be the best that God has made me to be.
3/1/10

Week 2 down…

Week 2 of full-time teaching is over. One more to go. It has been a physically and emotionally exhausting week. Physically because I am constantly preparing, grading, teaching…emotionally because I have 16 students at all different levels of learning. I have 2 Korean students, 1 australian student, 1 American/Colombian, and the rest are Mexican. All this to say 15 out of my 16 struggle with English. My ONE student who doesn’t complained one day to her mom that she was bored in my class…not to say that I am boring, I’d like to add. I try to be as creative and out of the box as possible. We play tons of games and do hands on activities. She told some of the other students that she was bored, so of course, they followed her lead. Two parents have talked to my teacher. Can I just say? Highly embarrassing and discouraging. I am determined to take it and be better though. My teacher and I had a talk. She told me that she thinks it is my confidence level. I need to be more confident and firm in my approach, I cant let them get away with talking or speaking Spanish…AT ALL. I need to have complete control of the classroom. Remember when I said after the first day of teaching that teaching is all about confidence? Yeah! I’m still learning that! So anyway, I am determined to start this week out strong. I plan to be confident, overload my students with things to do when they are bored, and have fun. I have been sick all weekend =( but look forward to a new week and fresh start.

This week, my professor came to Guadalajara (yay for mr auld!). Lauren and I had a great lunch with him and talk with Glenn (the principal) and his wife. Friday I was quite ill with fever, sinus issues, and stomach issues. During the night, as time slowly passed and the lack of sleep bore down on me, I determined that going to the teacher conference of Friday was not an option. Sadly, I also didn’t get to take Mr. Auld to the center that afternoon either, but I did have many MANY hours of well-needed sleep. =) Saturday, we had an amazing opportunity to take a little trip to San Juan (45 minutes north of Guadalajara) with many other people from the 2 churches in Chapala and Guadalajara. There we had a little awana program for the children, children who have nothing. The people in this village lost their crops to flooding and don’t even have a market. Nothing. There were games for the children, candy, prizes, food, and a Bible lesson. Because I didn’t feel well, I just cheered from the sidelines and took pictures, but it was definitely amazing to be a part of that. It reminded me of the days of CEF and doing backyard Bible clubs. I miss being a part of ministries like that. The Lord has blessed me immensely in so many ways here. How can I ever leave?
2/27/10

An unexpected reward

I just had a reminder of exactly why I want to be a teacher, especially teaching Bible. Teachers have this unbelievably amazing emotional high when they see one of their students excel and learn. When I prepared for my night of little sleep and much nail paint (a.k.a. The 5th grade girls’ sleepover) I did not expect to be unexpectedly rewarded. Yes, it was a great time of hanging out, fun, and laughter, but when it came time for the devotion, all the girls settled down. Maryn, the other 5th grade teacher read from the Max Lucado book, You are Special.
Sidenote: My class memorizes a new verse every week. As I was teaching on Samuel for the second week, I had no idea what verse to use, so as I turned the pages of my Bible, on a search, Isaiah 43 caught my eye. I wrote it down on the board. No reason or Rhyme (or so it seemed).
When Maryn got to the part in the book when the little creation is talking to His maker, the maker of the little toy/thing says, “You are mine, I made you exactly the way you,” one of my girls excitedly raises her hand and goes, “Hey it’s just like our verse, ‘Fear not, I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine!” All the other girls in my class nodded their heads in agreement. I cannot tell you the emotion that ran through my veins. As a teacher, I think this is the greatest reward that one can have, for a student to take a verse and knowledge that we teachers hope and pray they understand, and they take it and apply it. I am so thankful the Lord had me there to witness this incredible dawning of understanding and application!
Feb 19,2010