Written in words inexpressible...

I don’t know if any of you have ever had a hard time expressing yourselves, but I have recently found a new cd that expresses all my thoughts and feelings perfectly right now. The songs recorded seem like they came straight from my heart, even thought I know someone else wrote them. “Who is it?” you wonder…Fracesca Battistelli, singing songs like “Letting go and Keep me guessing” reminding me that though I have no idea what’s going to happen in the future, it’s ok because God is control. “Lead me to the cross” reminding me that whatever happens, stay focused on the cross, that is the true focus. “My paper heart” is in the Lord’s hands even though it feels like I’ve been waiting for so long and “Someday,” I’ll be free to give my heart away, when God’s timing is right, but until then and forever, HE is my “forever love” and I’ll always sing and live for Him. It’s His love and grace that have made my life “Beautiful, beautiful.” So yes, if you want a little deeper insight to my life, take a listen.

It’s Friday! Week 3 of full time teaching OVER…don’t get me wrong, I’m lovin teaching, but definitely ready for a little break. I’m reminded of what my best friend just said today, “And you want to do this the REST OF YOUR LIFE?” Why yes, I do…this just isn’t how I pictured it. Life isn’t exactly going how I had it planned, if you haven’t noticed. I think God enjoys the twists and turns in life. He is unpredictable. Therefore, so is life. I’ve loved teaching here, I love my class, my family/families, my teacher, my professors…I’m just ready for a “job well done, my good and faithful servant.” Not saying I want to die, I just cant wait to hear the Lord say those words. I feel weary right now and my brain is going to explode. I’m hoping that when I get to heaven God will look at me and say, “Good job, my precious daughter. You accomplished what I wanted you to with what I gave you.” I sincerely hope I don’t hear, “Good job daughter, but you could have definitely done better in this area and this…and this…and this…” I want to do everything to the best of my ability and for His glory so that I can please Him and “make Him proud.”
March 5, 2010

“And they shall know…”

It’s week 3 day 3 of full time teaching. 2 more days to go, then slow-down time. How exciting! I feel like those first 2 weeks of full time teaching was so…”go go go go go” and hectic. Week 3 is more like, “relax, enjoy the scenery, have some fun.” Really, for the first time with my students, I was really silly. They are finally a little more under control and I can be a little crazy. We read about David and Goliath today-yes, a story we all know, but I think we had fun. I got to act like I was puney little david and one of my students had to use his manly voice to be goliath. In reading, my silliness continued for a few minutes. I had Karen, one of my quieter, more well-behaved students, uncontrollably laughing. It was great to see. I finally felt a little more like myself, I was having a little more fun and not caring too much what they thought about my silliness. I think/hope they loved it. Though I know I still have a long way to go, I love to look back and see the progress I’ve made. Math was not so great today, but when I look back on how I felt at the beginning about teaching math, I realize how confident I have become and I feel like I could definitely teach any math to elementary. I feel more confident in my classroom management skills- thanks to Kelli. Life has been pretty easy this week. My student who used to roll her eyes at me all the time, now listens to what I say and I haven’t seen any eyes rolling around lately. Occasionally, she even smiles at me =) Student teaching is no longer so stressful and difficult. I feel like I could be a teacher now. I actually cant WAIT to have my own class, do certain things my own way, make my stamp. I look forward to teaching instead of dreading that math lesson because I know that a student might have to comfort me because I did so badly. Never will that happen again. I think I have the confidence, and the help and support to make it. If I may, I am going to change a little bit of what David said to Goliath. Facing my own battle, I say, “I come not to teach with unbeatable lesson plans, snazzy computers, abundant resources, and impressive skills, but with the help of the Lord God. Because of what He will do through me, my students will see and know that He is the Lord.”
3/3/10

Starting Fresh

It’s a new day, a new week. Victor has gone to Quawila to get his mom and I get the joy and privilege of staying with his brother, Pastor Pelayo and his family once again! I have missed them terribly and it has been great to be with them once again. When I saw Keren (my little Spanish tutor/buddy), they were running out the door and she basically asked me when I was here. She had to leave before I could answer, but I was sad I didn’t get to talk to her at all. She is not really huggy toward me or anything, but I could tell that she had missed me when a boy who was staying here asked why I was here. Sonya said, that I was a visitor and friend. Keren corrected her and said something to the effect, “She’s MY friend!” (very defensively of course). Of course, I loved it. It’s good to spend time with them again.
At school today, I was still very sick, stomach-wise. It was alright though since I had a really easy day at school. It was really nice (and convenient!). After school, I need to buy Hershey bars for math lesson, so Lauren and I went on the bus and went to the plaza. While we were there, we got a little…distracted. It just so happened that we passed and entered a nail salon, which also happened to be next to a fabric store. Likely story, I know, but some things just cant be helped. We had to stop and stop, we did. Best part of the day-my teacher said that she could tell that my confidence has upped and that she could tell I’m working on it! I want to be the best that God has made me to be.
3/1/10

Starting Fresh

It’s a new day, a new week. Victor has gone to Quawila to get his mom and I get the joy and privilege of staying with his brother, Pastor Pelayo and his family once again! I have missed them terribly and it has been great to be with them once again. When I saw Keren (my little Spanish tutor/buddy), they were running out the door and she basically asked me when I was here. She had to leave before I could answer, but I was sad I didn’t get to talk to her at all. She is not really huggy toward me or anything, but I could tell that she had missed me when a boy who was staying here asked why I was here. Sonya said, that I was a visitor and friend. Keren corrected her and said something to the effect, “She’s MY friend!” (very defensively of course). Of course, I loved it. It’s good to spend time with them again.
At school today, I was still very sick, stomach-wise. It was alright though since I had a really easy day at school. It was really nice (and convenient!). After school, I need to buy Hershey bars for math lesson, so Lauren and I went on the bus and went to the plaza. While we were there, we got a little…distracted. It just so happened that we passed and entered a nail salon, which also happened to be next to a fabric store. Likely story, I know, but some things just cant be helped. We had to stop and stop, we did. Best part of the day-my teacher said that she could tell that my confidence has upped and that she could tell I’m working on it! I want to be the best that God has made me to be.
3/1/10

Week 2 down…

Week 2 of full-time teaching is over. One more to go. It has been a physically and emotionally exhausting week. Physically because I am constantly preparing, grading, teaching…emotionally because I have 16 students at all different levels of learning. I have 2 Korean students, 1 australian student, 1 American/Colombian, and the rest are Mexican. All this to say 15 out of my 16 struggle with English. My ONE student who doesn’t complained one day to her mom that she was bored in my class…not to say that I am boring, I’d like to add. I try to be as creative and out of the box as possible. We play tons of games and do hands on activities. She told some of the other students that she was bored, so of course, they followed her lead. Two parents have talked to my teacher. Can I just say? Highly embarrassing and discouraging. I am determined to take it and be better though. My teacher and I had a talk. She told me that she thinks it is my confidence level. I need to be more confident and firm in my approach, I cant let them get away with talking or speaking Spanish…AT ALL. I need to have complete control of the classroom. Remember when I said after the first day of teaching that teaching is all about confidence? Yeah! I’m still learning that! So anyway, I am determined to start this week out strong. I plan to be confident, overload my students with things to do when they are bored, and have fun. I have been sick all weekend =( but look forward to a new week and fresh start.

This week, my professor came to Guadalajara (yay for mr auld!). Lauren and I had a great lunch with him and talk with Glenn (the principal) and his wife. Friday I was quite ill with fever, sinus issues, and stomach issues. During the night, as time slowly passed and the lack of sleep bore down on me, I determined that going to the teacher conference of Friday was not an option. Sadly, I also didn’t get to take Mr. Auld to the center that afternoon either, but I did have many MANY hours of well-needed sleep. =) Saturday, we had an amazing opportunity to take a little trip to San Juan (45 minutes north of Guadalajara) with many other people from the 2 churches in Chapala and Guadalajara. There we had a little awana program for the children, children who have nothing. The people in this village lost their crops to flooding and don’t even have a market. Nothing. There were games for the children, candy, prizes, food, and a Bible lesson. Because I didn’t feel well, I just cheered from the sidelines and took pictures, but it was definitely amazing to be a part of that. It reminded me of the days of CEF and doing backyard Bible clubs. I miss being a part of ministries like that. The Lord has blessed me immensely in so many ways here. How can I ever leave?
2/27/10

An unexpected reward

I just had a reminder of exactly why I want to be a teacher, especially teaching Bible. Teachers have this unbelievably amazing emotional high when they see one of their students excel and learn. When I prepared for my night of little sleep and much nail paint (a.k.a. The 5th grade girls’ sleepover) I did not expect to be unexpectedly rewarded. Yes, it was a great time of hanging out, fun, and laughter, but when it came time for the devotion, all the girls settled down. Maryn, the other 5th grade teacher read from the Max Lucado book, You are Special.
Sidenote: My class memorizes a new verse every week. As I was teaching on Samuel for the second week, I had no idea what verse to use, so as I turned the pages of my Bible, on a search, Isaiah 43 caught my eye. I wrote it down on the board. No reason or Rhyme (or so it seemed).
When Maryn got to the part in the book when the little creation is talking to His maker, the maker of the little toy/thing says, “You are mine, I made you exactly the way you,” one of my girls excitedly raises her hand and goes, “Hey it’s just like our verse, ‘Fear not, I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine!” All the other girls in my class nodded their heads in agreement. I cannot tell you the emotion that ran through my veins. As a teacher, I think this is the greatest reward that one can have, for a student to take a verse and knowledge that we teachers hope and pray they understand, and they take it and apply it. I am so thankful the Lord had me there to witness this incredible dawning of understanding and application!
Feb 19,2010

An alternative to ordinary, everyday sandwiches…

Is it really Wednesday? Wow. The weeks seem so slow, and the weekends so fast. Today is my third full day of teaching. Can you believe it? I have been here for exactly 42 days! Woopey! How crazy is that. Well, anyway…I continue to learn from my mistakes. I am learning how to make routine procedures more interesting, more like a game. That’s what it takes to keep 5th graders interested in ANYTHING! As I got ready to start Bible, I looked around and noticed all my students yawning. This is quite normal after lunch and read aloud, but it was especially bad today. So, out I sent them to do laps. I watched as the competitive ones raced around the patio to see who would land first place while the social butterflies fluttered their way around the basketball court. This was when I knew, I HAVE to do something! We took a few extra minutes and race around the patio we did! They did liven up a little more. For that I was thankful. After school and our lovely faculty meeting, I came back home and ate a wonderful alternative to sandwiches. We Americans like to put our meat, cheese and toppings on two nice crisp pieces of bread. Here, they like to put their meat, cheese, and toppings on nice crispy tostadas. You should most definitely try a tostada topped with a slice of meat, sour cream, fresh cabbage, crumpled cheese, and hot sauce. Mmmmmm, what a delight! Anyway, that was my short break before my long evening of grading and preparing for the morrow. Now, I continue on…goodnight dear readers.
2/17/10